Mind on my Money.
Hello Folks, welcome back to The Adventurous Money.
In my last post, I wrote about defaults and how there are certain things we accept without questioning their validity. If you missed it, you could read about it here.
While thinking about the defaults that I have in my life. I stumbled upon an image by Carl from The Behavior Gap.
This image led me to think, "Isn't this a default to my hearing?"
Often when I am having a conversation with my friends, family, or anyone I know, my mind just somehow runs to money.
For instance, just some time back, I was out with my girlfriend, hanging out. And she pointed towards a store and said, “Hey, look at that beautiful ring". While I looked at the ring she was pointing to, my mouth was blurting, “ It has to be beautiful; it costs Rs. X, and we can't afford to buy that.” To my comment, she replied, “Wait, what, I didn't want to buy it?".
You can guess how that conversation went from that point on.
Now that I think about that statement, it does not make any sense at all. All she mentioned was how beautiful a particular ring was. She was just admiring the beauty of the ring in a store. It had nothing to do with how much it cost, where it was built, or anything of the sort. All that mattered was that the ring was beautiful, and I should have been able to just admire its beauty without attaching a cost to it.
Upon thinking more, I came up with a lot more scenarios as such while I was being a calculator instead of a human, and there are many such instances where she would become a calculator than a partner
Why does this happen to us?
I believe this happens because we are not taught to talk about money. Our society, in general, treats money as taboo.
When was the last time you and your partner or your closest friend had a conversation about money?
For some reason, it is unacceptable to ask someone “how much money they make”, even if they are the closest person to you.
I don't know why and when we as a society accepted that talking about money has to be hush-hush and that there wasn't a way to have a healthy conversation around money.
I don’t know if I can change how society talks about money at large, but from now on, I am going to be human when it comes to talking about money.
And I think it is possible to do this by:
Understanding that money means different things to different people: When it comes to money, everyone has their own goals, priorities, and values. Before diving into a conversation about money, it's crucial to understand what money means to the person you're talking to instead of assuming a certain thing, you could ask, “ What does money mean to you?" or “How do you feel about your financial situation?”.
Approach the conversation with an open mind. Approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen and understand the other person's point of view instead of bringing your prejudices into it.
And lastly, listen—I think this is the most difficult part of all; To listen. We are so often focused on sharing what we know about a certain subject that we barely focus on listening to what the other person has to say.
I am aware these suggestions sound generic, but they are still hard to implement. Regardless of how much I refine my thesis about what money means to me, I still hold tonnes of irrational assumptions about it.
It is a constant work in progress for me. If you have any thoughts or ideas on how to be better at it, send them my way.
Until next time...
I am on a mission to change the way people think about their money and Investments.